Triangular Theory of Love Essay Example

Triangular Theory of Love Essay Lewis-Clark State College, Lewiston, ID, USA Stembergs Triangular Theory of Love was examined to identify the structure of the psyche implied in that theory, Stembergs theory posits three components of human functioning to explain the phenomenon of love in close relationships: intimacy, passion, and commitment. Analysis of these three components indicates that they align with a neoclassical model of the human psyche, A neoclassical psyche consists of at least three fundamental, irreducible capacities: cognition, affect, and conation, Stembergs commitment component relies on the capacity for cognition (and conation), the passion component is derived from conation (and affect), and the intimacy component is derived from emotional investment or the capacity for affect (and cognition). Therefore, Stembergs overall Triangular Theory of Love ontologically presupposes a neoclassical structure to the psyche. The purpose of this paper is to describe the structure of the human psyche that is implied in Stembergs Triangular Theory of Love, with its three nodes of intimacy, passion, and commitment. Therefore the authors of this paper aimed to answer the question, What must be the structure of the psyche in order for love to consist of intimacy, passion and commitment? The central hypothesis in this paper is that the structure of the psyche, implied in Stembergs work, is a neoclassical psyche, a psyche that consists of at least these three fundamental, irreducible, capacities: a) cognition, b) affect, and c) conation (Hilgard, 1980; LeDoux, 2002; Tallon, 1997). Rhett Diessner, Professor of Psychology and Education, Nellie Frost and Titus Smith, Lewis-Clark State College, Lewiston, ID, USA, Appreciation is due to eviewers including: Robert Lemieux, PhD, McDaniel College, Com munication Department, 2 College Hill, Westminster, MD, USA 21157, Email: ; Ge Gao, PhD, Department of Communication Studies, San Jose State University, San Jose, CA 95192, USA, Email: Keywords: Stemberg, psyche, love, cognition, conation. Please address correspondence and reprint requests to: Rhett Diessner, Professor of Psychology and Education, 500 8th Ave,, Lewis-Clark State College, Lewiston, ID 83501-2698, USA. Phone: 208 792 2338; Fax: 208 792 2820; Email: 683 684 PSYCHE IN STERNBERGS THEORY OF LOVE We will write a custom essay sample on Triangular Theory of Love specifically for you for only $16.38 $13.9/page Order now We will write a custom essay sample on Triangular Theory of Love specifically for you FOR ONLY $16.38 $13.9/page Hire Writer We will write a custom essay sample on Triangular Theory of Love specifically for you FOR ONLY $16.38 $13.9/page Hire Writer A SUMMARY OF STERNBERGS TRIANGULAR THEORY OF LOVE The triangular theory of love is so called because it holds that love can be understood in terms of three components that together can be viewed as forming the vertices of a triangle: intimacy, passion, and decision/commitment (Stemberg, 1986). Stemberg grounds this theory historically and rationally (1988, 1998; Beall Stemberg, 1995) as well as psychometrically and empirically (Acker Davis, 1992; Chojnacki Walsh, 1990; Lemieux Hale, 1999; Stemberg, 1997; Stemberg Grajek, 1984; Whitley, 1993). According to Stemberg (1986, 1988, 1997) the intimacy component refers to a sense of bonding and close, connected feelings in loving relationships. Thus this component focuses on the emotions that comprise the experience of warmth in a loving relationship. Stemberg and Grajeks (1984) cluster analysis of various love scales indicated that intimacy included such factors as desire to promote the beloveds welfare, sharing with the beloved, mutual understanding, high regard and intimate communication. In general, the intimacy component might be viewed as largely, but not exclusively, deriving from emotional investment in the relationship (Stemberg, 1986, p. 119). The triangular theorys passion component refers to the drives that lead to romance, physical attraction, sexual consummation, and the like in a loving relationship (Stemberg, 1988, p. 118). Stemberg focuses on sexual desire as central to this component, but he also acknowledges that a variety of needs, ranging from self-actualiza tion to self-esteem to dominance/submission are likely to influence passion. In particular, Stemberg considers that the passion component is largely but not exclusively derived from motivational involvement in the relationship (1986, p. 19). The decision/commitment component is structured temporally and consists of two facets, one in the present and one in the future (Stemberg, 1986,1988,1997). In present time (the short term) the issue is the decision to love someone or not. In regard to future time (the long term) the issue is to maintain commitment to the beloved. Stemberg (1986), at least in his early work on this theory, considered that the decision/commitment component was cognitive in nature, stating that this component thus includes within its purview the cognitive elements that are involved (p. 19) in making a decision to be in, and to stay in, a loving relationship. Based on these three components of love, eight possible types of love come into focus, creating a classifi cation system for the various kinds of love relationships (Stemberg, 1986,1988). A liking type of love is intimacy without passion or commitment; infatuation is passion without intimacy or commitment; empty love is commitment without passion or intimacy; romantic love is a combination of intimacy and passion sans commitment; companionate love results from intimacy combined with commitment but PSYCHE IN STERNBERGS THEORY OF LOVE 685 ithout passion; fatuous (stupid) love is the combination of passion and commitment but lacking intimacy; consummate love comes from all three components being active in the relationship; and nonlove is when all three components are absent. A NEOCLASSICAL PSYCHE The psyche that underlies Sternbergs model is aptly referred to as a neoclassical psyche, as it is reminiscent of the psyche as described by Socrates in Platos The Republic (380BCE/1937), Book IV. Socrates explained that the psyche consists of three parts: the logical-rational (logiston), the spiri ted or affective (thymia), and the desiring (epithymia). This description of the psyche is also neoclassical in relation to the psychology of the medieval period, among both Christian and Islamic scholars. Thomas Aquinas, the Scholastics (Tallon, 1997), ibn Sinl (Avicenna), and ibn Arabi (Leahey, 2000), all wrote extensively on the capacities of the psyche or mind to know (cognition), to love (and other emotions) and to will (conation). Those medieval Christian and Islamic scholars, however, did not specifically consider the structure of the psyche to be based on the three capacities of cognition, affect and conation; yet, Immanuel Kant often considered the greatest modem philosopher did. He wrote in his Critique of Judgment, There are three absolutely irreducible faculties of the mind, namely, knowledge, feeling, and desire (cited in Hilgard, 1980, p. 109). And despite behaviorisms reign throughout much of the 20th century in which the concept of the psyche, and particularly the will were banished and despite the current emphasis in the discipline of psychology upon cognition, many psychologists have continued to frame the structure of the psyche in terms of these three capacities. Particularly in social psychological research, regarding the concept of attitude, psychologists posit this triadic psyche (Fishbein Ajzen, 1975; Kothandapani, 1971; Ostrom, 1969), as well as in general reviews of the history of psychology and studies of the mind (Hilgard, 1980; Insko Schopler, 1967; Plooij, 2003), or in educational psychology (Diessner, 2001; Snow, Como Jackson, 1996). Likewise, in the study of religion/spirituality and psychology this triadic psyche surfaces, ranging from studies by Christian psychologists (Kristensen, Pedersen, Williams, 2001; Pedersen, WiUiams, Kristensen, 2000; Tallon, 1997) to that of Bahdi psychologists (Danesh, 1997; MustakovaPossardt, 2003). Even in the explicitly hard science of biological psychology, the neoclassical psyche is posited. LeDoux (2002), in his Synaptic self, states that Traditionally . . . the mind has been viewed as a trilogy, consisting of cognition, affect (emotion), and conation (motivation) (p. 4; NB, LeDoux is emphasizing the willful and volitional aspect of motivation). Thus, a neoclassical psyche has its roots in the works of Plato; the elements of it are discussed throughout the writings of medieval Christian and Islamic psy- 686 PSYCHE IN STERNBERGS THEORY OF LOVE chologically oriented philosophers; it is affirmed by Immanuel Kants enlightenment philosophy; and continues to be a force in contempo rary psychology. THE NEOCLASSICAL PSYCHE IMPLICIT IN STERNBERGS MODEL As mentioned above, a neoclassical psyche is an integration of the three quasidiscrete fundamental psychological capacities of cognition (knowing), affect (emoting) and conation (volition, will). In the next three subsections we briefly explicate the hypotheses that Stembergs description of intimacy is primarily undergirded by the capacity to emote; that his defmition of passion is primarily a motivational experience and thus based on the conative ability; and that decision/commitment, in Stembergs model, is at least partially derived from the capacity for cognition. Of course, the three fundamental human capacities of cognition, affect and conation are only quasi-discrete. That is, they are qualitatively different capacities, but nonetheless in human phenomenology they are always in interaction with each other, and it seems unlikely that any human experience is one of pure cognition with no affect, or that we have a pure conative experience with no immediate influence from affect or cognition (Danesh, 1997; LeDoux, 2002; Mustakova-Possardt, 2003; Tallon, 1997). For example, Bandura (1986) captures this discrete-but-interactive notion with his concept of reciprocal determinism. And just as Socrates model of the psyche implies logiston, thymia and epithymia as inherently interactive (Plato, 1937), and Freuds model of the psyche is explicit about ego, id, and superego being dynamically interactive, Stemberg also emphasizes that the important thing to remember is that the triangles are not independent but interactive (1988, p. 136; cf. Acker Davis , 1992; Lemieux Hale, 2000). Intimacy and Affect Stembergs defmition of intimacy emphasizes feelings, the . . . close, connected, and bonded feelings in loving relationships (1986, p. 120). Clearly, this component of love relies on the psyches capacity for affect. In terms of interaction, intimacy also is dependent on the interaction of the psyches capacities for cognition and affect, in at least two ways. Firstly, the emotional sharing and mutual understanding that characterizes intimacy requires cognition of the beloveds emotions, and understanding of the other is also dependent on cognition of the beloveds thoughts and behaviors. That is, the understanding of the other that intimacy requires, is dependent on interpersonal cognition, or what Gardner (1999) would call interpersonal intelligence. Secondly, cognition is intimately bound to affect in the sense that cognitions tend to precede emotions, and some psychologists of emotion actually consider cognition as partially constitutive of emotion itself (Amold, 1960; Lazarus, 1991). PSYCHE IN STERNBERGS THEORY OF LOVE 687 Passion and Conation To the degree that human conation, or the human will, is defined as desire (cf . Platos epithymia, 1937) and as motivation (Lazarus, 1991; LeDoux, 2002; Snow Jackson, 1994) then Stembergs passion component is an expression of the psyches fundamental capacity for conation. Stemberg has emphasized that the passion component is derived largely, but not exclusively, from motivational processes (1986, p. 119; and see also 1997), and psychologists tend either to identify conation with motivation, or at least to consider motivation as one aspect of conation (Lazarus; LeDoux; Snow Jackson). Of course passion is passionately integrated with affect and cognition. The everyday woman or man-on-the-street associates passion with affect, with very strong feelings. We tend to think of a passion as happening to us and being reflected in our affective state (see Averill, 1980). And there appears to be no passion without an object of passion; and cognition is necessary for us to behold that object of passion in our consciousness. Decision/Commitment and Cognition (and Conation) In Stembergs early work (1986) on his triangular love theory he associated cognition with decision/commitment in love: The decision/commitment component is derived largely, although not exclusively, from cognitive decision in and commitment to the relationship (p. 119). In his later work (e. g. 1997) on the theory, he does not explicitly mention cognition in regard to this component, nor affect nor conation. Granted, cognitions are likely to precede decisions and commitment, and are intimately and inextricably bound to them, just as many cognitive psychologists consider that cognitions either precede emotional experience, or are partially constitutive of emotional experience. However, decisions and commitments seem more likely to be derived from the psyches capacity for conation. That is, decisions and commitments are choices, they are acts of the will, they are volitional. This position is strongly supported by humanistic psychology (Maslow, 1954; Rogers, 1961), that is, self-actualization primarily occurs through acts of the will, through decisions and commitments that are acts of conation. This view that our choices, decisions and commitments are acts of the will is also emphasized in the emerging positive psychology (Seligman, 2002, see pp. 135-6). Therefore, it seems that the decision/commitment component of Stembergs theory is primarily an expression of the psyches capacity for conation, although integrated with and influenced by human cognition. SUMMARY AND DISCUSSION We conclude that the central hypothesis in this paper, that the structure of the psyche implied in Stembergs work is a neoclassical psyche, has been plausibly 688 PSYCHE IN STERNBERGS THEORY OF LOVE supported in the above analysis. We have demonstrated that the three components of the triangular theory of love are indeed substantially constituted by the capacities of cognition, affect, and conation; and we reviewed the work of psychologists and philosophers who advocate that the human mind or psyche is constituted by those three capacities. Seeking Disconfirmation What would disconfirm the findings of this analysis? Our hypothesis would be partially disconfiimed if it were shown that intimacy or passion or decision/commitment, as described by Stemberg, were expressions of the human psyche that cannot be accounted for by cognition, affect and/or conation. This is an open question, and we invite criticism in this regard. The methodology of our analysis would be called into question if we misinterpreted the views of Socrates, Hilgard (1980), LeDoux (2002), and others that the psyche is constituted by the three fundamental capacities of cognition, affect, and conation. The meaningfulness of our hypothesis, in regard to the notion of a neoclassical psyche would be in question if there were other capacities of the human psyche that are fundamental to cognition or affect or conation, or if there were other fundamental capacities that are parallel to cognition, affect and conation. We invite discussion in this regard. 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